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2020/09/02 分享
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  • Hey. What're you working on?

  • Remember when I said if you went through with your surgery, there was a one-in-700,000 chance of dying?

  • Yeah?

  • Well, I've been crunching the numbers, and so far, I've gotten your probability of death all the way to a sphincter-tightening one in 300.


crunching

v. 嘎吱嘎吱地咬嚼( crunch的现在分词 )、嘎吱作响、(快速大量地)处理信息、数字捣弄

sphincter [ˈsfɪŋktɚ]

n. 括约肌


  • Great timing. My check sphincter light just went on.

  • Leonard, what if you have an allergic reaction to the surgeon's latex gloves?


allergic [əˈlɜrdʒɪk]

adj. 过敏的、过敏症的、对…极讨厌的

latex [ˈleˌtɛks]

n. 胶乳,(尤指橡胶树的)橡浆、人工合成胶乳(用以制作油漆、粘合剂和织物)


  • I'm not allergic to latex.

  • Well, then why don't you wear the rubber gloves I bought for you to do the dishes?

  • For the same reason I don't wear the apron or the hair net.

  • Fine. What about epilepsy?


epilepsy ['epɪlepsɪ]

n. [医]癫痫,羊痫疯


  • I don't have epilepsy, either.

  • You don't, but the surgeon might, hmm? And your carotid artery is just one shaky scalpel away from becoming the dancing fountain at Disneyland.


carotid [kə'rɒtɪd]

n.& adj. 颈动脉(的)

artery [ˈɑrtəri]

n. [解剖]动脉、干线,要道

scalpel ['skælpəl]

n. 外科手术刀


  • Sheldon, do you realize that driving is riskier than surgery?

  • I do. I have the drive to the hospital right here. That is if you make it to the car without falling down the stairs. And don't expect me to carry you, I do that enough in life.

  • Buddy, I, I get that you're worried about me and I, I appreciate that, but I'm not going to die.

  • You don't know that.

  • Well, I do know that it won't be from an asteroid strike.


asteroid [ˈæstəˌrɔɪd]

n. [天]小行星、海盘车、海星

adj. 星状的


  • You know who else said that? Every cocky T. Rex currently swimming around in the gas tank of your car.

  • If there was an asteroid strike, wouldn't you die, too?

  • I don't know, I'm smart and scrappy, I think I'd find a way.

  • Tell you what, the surgery's not for a week, I'll think about it.

  • Thank you. And while you're thinking about it, if you have the surgery in Nicaragua during monsoon season, I can practically guarantee your death.


monsoon [ˌmɑnˈsun]

n. (印度洋的)季风、季风雨、夏季季风